My Confession

I have a confession to make.

I hate loud, growling motorcycles. No, no. I don’t think you understand; I’m not saying that I think they’re tacky or silly or just not my style. I’m saying that when those bulky Harley-Davidson motorcycles gurgle by my house at midnight with their obscene roar, rattling every window pane in the neighborhood, waking small children and causing dogs to bark, I want to shoot their riders off. I do. I jump up to the window like a maniac and glare at them, storing their faces away for the day that I snap.

Those motorcycles make me instantaneously hate the people driving them. Oh, they’re probably nice people. But when they open the throttle and bellow past my house, it’s like someone ripping open my windows, climbing through and shouting at the top of their lungs in my face that they’ve got money. «PUNCH»

Now don’t pull the whole, “it’s a safety feature” argument. That’s a load right there. There are plenty of other safety features that don’t involve coming into my house and pulverizing my tympanic membrane.

So if you’ve got a offensively loud motorcycle and you happen to be near my house, you’ve been warned. Same thing goes for you bass-so-loud-it-makes-grandma-cry people. (Jesse, that really doesn’t sound like a confessional. Oh yeah? «PUNCH»)

  • posted on 28 September 2007
  • by Jesse

InterAction:

28 September 20071. Ben G.:

LOL! I hate it when people with loud pipes ride by my house too. They ride by your house at midnight? That's crazy. I'd shoot them too.

I have a motorcycle but it's quiet. Very quiet in fact.

I think you're right in that guys (and women) like loud pipes because it makes them stand out. It's a whole "rebel" thing that I just don't get.

But the loud pipes really do act as a safety feature. One of the more common wrecks bikers get into is when a car either 1) pulls out in front of them or 2) changes lanes and runs them off the road. In both cases the driver of the car didn't see the biker.

The issue is that bikes are relatively small and most drivers aren't actively looking for them. Having a system whereby a driver can then hear them ads a level of awareness.

The other main safety measures a biker has is lane position (stay out of blind spots) and wear brightly colored clothing. The motorcyclist's greatest challenge is getting noticed on the road. Loud pipes aid that.

But ... I'll never own a bike with loud pipes because 1) they annoy me and 2) they annoy others. I'll take my risks with people running me over ;)

2 October 20072. Anthony Navarro:

I can appreciate the loud biker getting to you, but that sound comes and is gone. My annoyances here lately are the kids that come down our street with their skateboards, jumping the curbs and easement on our street... it's incessant clacking and clattering for an hour each afternoon when the little dudes get home from school.

Thing is, they come to OUR neighborhood to play... can't they play in front of their own houses? ...or did *their* parents complain about the noise and make them move?

Sigh... I have to remember that *I* was a kid once :-)

-Anthony

5 October 20073. dramaturge:

Jesse, I think you're turning into an old fogey.
;-D

YourThoughts?


(Minutia)

This entry was written by Jesse on Friday, September 28, 2007 at 9:57 AM and appears in the Ears chapter. The previous article was entitled, "Life Is Funny, Ep. 1", and the next entry is called, "They're Like Armpits". Bookmark the permalink, save it to del.icio.us or Digg it.

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