What Not To Do At Church

While my wife and I were away this weekend, we went to a church this Sunday that shall remain unnamed. It took us longer to get there than we expected, so we arrived late and slipped in the back for the end of the first service (you know, the earlier, hipper one with a drum set on stage). The service was average enough, though nothing jumped out as incredibly relevant or challenging to me. We didn't get to sing very much, so we thought we'd stay through the song time of the second service (you know, the later, more traditional one with a full choir, an elaborate organ and no sign of the drum set).

Now, in between services, we did something we shouldn't have done. We sat there and waited for people to approach us. I know, I know, I should have taken the initiative; but I was on vacation and breaking the ice is terribly uncomfortable for me. So we sat. And sat. And sat. And of the two hundred or so people there, not one person even greeted us with a hello, only sideways glances. Finally, I saw from the corner of my eye an older woman approach the row I was in and stop next to me; I turned for the greeting and instead got an "excuse me". I was confused at first until she gestured down the row. So I stood up and let her by. As she sidled by us, she informed us: "There's more of us coming."

Far be it from me to keep them from their seats--wouldn't want them to be uncomfortable! Then the irony of that statement struck me...

  • posted on 22 March 2007
  • by Jesse

InterAction:

22 March 20071. ren:

I guess in a service that big it's hard to tell who's a visitor.

ryc: thanks for the prayers. i appreciate them.

22 March 20072. Chris Poteet:

I know what you're talking about. It's such a shame. My church is just as guilty.

23 March 20073. Tami:

Yeah, in my experience it always seems like the smaller the congregation, the friendlier the people are to visitors.

23 March 20074. mandi:

...or the smaller the church, the more desperate they are for new members...that was my experience when we visited the few baptist churches in the area in cincy first...little old lady approaches with warm smile: "it's so nice to have you! we would love to have some young couples here again. oh, you should've seen this place just 5 years ago. it was completely filled..." hmmm...maybe that ought to tell you something...but i go to a large church and i do concur with ren's statement...there's really no way of knowing who is a visitor and who isn't...most visitors come with someone they know already anyway and those who come of their own accord aren't typically coming to church to make friends...they're coming 'cause they know they need something more in their life...they have initiative and will more than likely get involved of their own motivation...

23 March 20075. Jesse Gardner:

Oh, man, Mandi, that's so true. We face that in our church. We're a predominately older church and you could not BELIEVE how frustrating it is when the mob approaches the new young couple who arrives and says, "So, you're coming back, RIGHT?!" Invitation, not guilt trip, please.


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This entry was written by Jesse on Thursday, March 22, 2007 at 12:54 AM and appears in the Journeys chapter. The previous article was entitled, "Congratulations, Rahul and Rachelle!", and the next entry is called, "Shutdown Day". Bookmark the permalink, save it to del.icio.us or Digg it.

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