A Terrible Baptist

I just performed my first two baptisms these past two weekends in church, but I must not be cut out for it.

The first baptism, I forgot to wear short sleeves so my dress shirt got drenched. Fortunately, I wave my arm alot when I lead singing. I was also advised afterwards that pinching someones nose while putting them under is bad form.

I learned my lesson for the second one. I wore short sleeves and didn't grab at the guy's nose. But he was tall and I banged his head against the side of the metal tank. The water and metal reverberated with the crash. Then I couldn't get him all the way under. "In the name of the Father, the Son, the Spirit, *struggles* ...uh... Yahweh, Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Nissi..."

I always knew I'd make for a terrible Baptist.

  • posted on 31 October 2006
  • by Jesse

InterAction:

31 October 20061. Honour:

ha ha ha.

31 October 20062. Doug:

nice. Would have loved to have been there. I love baptisms for the great possibility they provide for comedy. I still laugh when I think about the great swinging curtain at PCC. Baptism night was like a night of one acts.

31 October 20063. Megan:

that's funny. and honour had a great description of baptism at pcc.

31 October 20064. Honour:

I did? Do share it, because I don't remember.

31 October 20065. Jesse Gardner:

I think it was the 'ha ha ha'. What was the deal with that speedy curtain? I'm not even sure they ever pulled any of those people up out of the water.

31 October 20066. ren:

I was actually reminscing about the speedy baptismal curtain the other day. That was so weird. And with the melodramatic organ music, it always seemed like a bizarre vaudville act or a strange kind of puppet show. Maybe that isn't too far off the mark. *wicked grin*

1 November 20067. Marlo:

You see, I was trying to get someone to talk about baptism by posting that picture the other day... the thing I like about baptisms is how they throw off the whole "pomp and circumstance" of a church service. Water- either by dunking or sprinkling- somehow being put on another person in front of a crowd...it's a recipe for laughter.

1 November 20068. Megan:

Okay. Sorry I was confused by the names. Somehow I only saw Honours. I should say that Doug described PCC baptisms perfectly.

1 November 20069. angela:

shoulda been a presby, buddy.
;) amt

1 November 200610. Sarah:

The roommates and I laughed quite hard. The sad thing is...I can picture it.
It's one of those things that you hope happens to someone else.
You're someone else's someone else:)

2 November 200611. ren:

RYC: I figured the commercialization issue would come up. But how many people stop to think that much of what we consider great art was a commercial venture at the time. Portraits of nobility, putting the nobility into classical scenes, paiting classical characters with the faces of patrons, even the Sistene ceiling was a "commercial" venture--though the wages were continued membership in the Church rather than actual money. Of course, actual commercials are more distracting, but do they necessarily detract from the skill of the writers? Or does their presence cause the writers to be mroe creative and hold the attention of the veiwers over the span?

3 November 200612. fannie:

Just out wandering the blogs . . . hahahaha! . . . Oh, how I remember the curtain! Have you seen the utube baptism? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31nA6LCMxE&eurl=
Might make you feel a bit better about yours. ;-)

3 November 200613. Jesse Gardner:

Amy: Oh my... that has to be one of the funniest things i've seen in a long time... Thanks for the laugh! It beats my story hands down.

3 November 200614. Mike R:

Could you imagine Pator Dan's reaction if that had happened to him? What a funny vid!

20 October 200715. MeLaNiE:

Ahhh. I was there that day. Thinking about it now makes me remember it in such detail. I was next to Shannon and we burst out laughing. We didn't say anything though. We thought it might be rude. When we heard the thump of his head hitting the side...lets just say it made church that day a little more..lively. Hahah.

YourThoughts?


(Minutia)

This entry was written by Jesse on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 at 12:48 PM and appears in the Kicks and Giggles chapter. The previous article was entitled, "The Dilemma of the American Christian", and the next entry is called, "Frankenkerry". Bookmark the permalink, save it to del.icio.us or Digg it.

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