Happy Winter Solstice Holiday
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make The world great. Not to imply that our world is necessarily greater than any other world nor the only world in the Milky Way or indeed any other galaxy.
Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the ‘wishee’.
By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."
In related news, businesses have an unreasonable fear of C*****mas. One commenter introduces us to a fun little game to play this "holiday season": When someone wishes you a "happy holiday", simply ask them, "which one?"
InterAction:
20 November 20072. Erin:
I live in the south and I am Jewish. Since I am in the "Bible Belt", it is assumed that EVERYONE is Christian.
I don't get offended when people say "Merry Christmas" since they may not know I am Jewish and they are not meaning it to be disrespectful.
I do however feel very alone since I still long to hear "Happy Hanukkah". Perhaps I must wear my Magen David and I may see a different result?
2 December 20073. Jose:
I'm still on the fence about the generic and secular "Winter Solstice Holiday" even though I am atheist. For me, Christmas means so much culturally as I am from Puerto Rico, where Christmas-New Year's THE most celebratory period in the country.
YourThoughts?
(Minutia)
This entry was written by Jesse on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 at 5:46 PM and appears in the Kicks and Giggles chapter. The previous article was entitled, "Rebel With(out) A Cause", and the next entry is called, "Sike... Merry Christmas!". Bookmark the permalink, save it to del.icio.us or Digg it.
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19 December 20061. xpressionccr:
A few responses:
1. That's really funny.
2. I got a taste of the opposite side of the Christmas is the only holiday coin when I was trying to find a menorah last Friday. I know it was last minute and all, but I did drive all the way to World Market just knowing that if there were anywhere in G'ville that would most certainly have one...it would be there. I mean they have stuff from everywhere. When I asked where they were located, I was told by an insensitive employee that they don't carry Hanukkah stuff. I felt offended, and I'm not even Jewish.
3. I was at the movie theater the other night when the guy on the "keep you entertained while you wait video thingie" said, "Happy Holidays and Happy New Year." That is just stupid. Is New Years not a holiday anymore. Dumb. And, I am not one to get too anal retentive about the "Happy Holidays" thing. I mean there are a lot of them about this time of year. (I don't think employees should be told that they can't say the C word, though.) So When someone says that to me, I just feel like I am supposed to enjoy all of them...including New Years.
Sadly, I wasn't able to enjoy Hanukkah this year...because of the insensitive people at the fair trade place...I mean sheesh! They didn't even have a dreidle!